Manage Netflix Profiles Why You’re A Fraud, And How To Stop It

You’re not very good at your job. Sure, you’ve been lucky so far. You’ve gotten away with it. You’ve managed to fool everyone around you.But sooner or later they’re going to find out. You know this, right? The charade can’t last forever.Sooner or later, they’re going to figure out that you’re a fraud.That’s the bad news.The good news is that, in all likelihood, none of this is true.Welcome to Imposter Syndrome.
Here’s my question: As you read the first ten sentences of this article, was there a part of you that thought, nervously, “How could he possibly know this? Is it my deepest fear and my most closely-guarded secret!”?Chances are you felt at least a twinge of self-recognition. How do I know this? Because Imposter Syndrome is prevalent in high-achievers. Studies show that up to 75% of high-achievers have this feeling of Imposter Syndrome at least occasionally; my own research indicates that the percentage could be even higher.

Tina Fey. Meryl Streep. Denzel Washington. Maya Angelou. Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz. With the possible exception of that last guy, this isn’t such a bad group to be associated with, right? And all of us have Imposter Syndrome, at least from time to time.Welcome to the club.”But I don’t want to be in that club!” I get it. Neither do I. So what do we do about it?We break out.
I mean that quite literally.See, Imposter Syndrome only happens when our attention is focused inward, on ourselves:
I’m a fraud.

I don’t deserve my success.

What do they think of me?

So, since the root of Imposter Syndrome is an inward focus, one solution is to adopt an outward focus. Rather than focus on yourself and what others think about you (and, by the way, most of the time they’re not thinking about you), focus instead on providing value. Providing value to what? Here are a few suggestions:
the project at hand

your team

your customers

your family

your company

When I was producing, there was a lot of pressure on me. To be honest, I wasn’t always sure that I was up to that pressure-especially when things went wrong. I didn’t think I was good enough, I felt like a fraud, and my biggest fear was that “they” were going to find out. Sound familiar?

But when I stopped feeling sorry for myself and focused instead on the work, those feelings disappeared. There simply wasn’t time for them. I was no longer thinking about myself; I was thinking about the audience, my team, the show. My focus was outward.And it worked. We got through the show. And the more shows we got through, the less I felt like a fraud. There was simply too much evidence to the contrary.Bottom line: If you want to get out of the Imposter Syndrome club, get out of your head.

Bold Money Conversations That Can Change Your Life

I recently returned from Kendall SummerHawk’s Feminine Money Mastery event, where women from all around the globe (and a few cool guys as well) gathered to improve their relationship with money. One of the most interesting aspects of this conference for me was learning to identify where we need to have “courageous money conversations” in our lives. These conversations are the ones we often avoid, as they bring up all sorts of disempowering money beliefs. We discussed how to make these conversations a routine practice and give them a methodology so that they aren’t as daunting to embark upon.

Powerful conversations can follow a format that eases some of the tension. Follow these steps and engage in, rather than avoid, the money talks that change your life.

1. Take a moment before the conversation to breathe and set your intention for the way you want the discourse to go. Decide on the outcome you want ahead of time and be very clear in your own mind before the other person is present.

2. Be free from emotion and set the agenda with the other party. Inform them as to the reason for the discussion, the outcome you desire, and the discussion points you plan to cover.

3. Stop and listen. Make sure the other party has a chance to say their piece and that they know you hear them. Repeat back and summarize their ideas – whatever you can do to establish that you understand what they are saying.

4. Offer several options for resolving the situation in various ways, if at all possible.

Find agreement, even if it’s to go to another decision-maker, and detail the subsequent steps, including who will do what, by when. Be sure to close the conversation positively.

After returning home from the conference, I immediately put this methodology to use and had two such conversations. I have been breathing a sigh of relief ever since! While it is important to take on these conversations under any circumstances, if you are intent on making a career shift or growing your business, this is a skill that is especially helpful and will pull you forward dramatically.

When you avoid courageous money conversations, you can be inadvertently sabotaging your own success. For example, a mom was recently telling me about her daughter, who has a job she loves. She is appreciated by her employer, coworkers, and customers, and received a promotion four months ago. She has not, however, received a salary increase to go with the promotion. Instead of having the conversation that needs to be had about the salary increase, she decided to look for another job. Objectively, this seems ridiculous, but she is so averse to having the necessary salary conversation that she has created a story in her head about what this all means and is taking a somewhat misguided action in response. For her, she believes it may actually be easier to land a new position than to have a money conversation where she would be championing her value to the company.

Similar to this case, when I work with clients, I often see two primary challenges:

1. Putting a voice to owning their value, and believing it as well. Examples include stating their fees, saying no to a discounted fee, or negotiating their salary.

2. Speaking honestly about an issue that makes them feel vulnerable. For example, discussing business plans with a spouse or renegotiating a loan they are having trouble paying.

Of course, taking a stance for your money will feel awkward at first. However, once you get a few of these conversations under your belt, you will be looking ahead for the next one! It’s about building a muscle over time that will increase your power across the board. Don’t be afraid to jump in headfirst – I promise you will be glad you did.

Michelle is the CEO and founder of Limit Free Life®, a coaching and personal development company designed to help clients discover and transition into careers or business ventures that satisfy their souls. As a former CPA, business consultant and now a certified business coach,she combines a strong background in finance and transition management with an intuitive coaching style.